


Arthur and the Inadvisable Kiss

by rachelautumn



Category: Merlin - Fandom
Genre: Bisexual!Arthur Smitten!Arthur, Comedy of Errors, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-13 21:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5717551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachelautumn/pseuds/rachelautumn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is the kind of person who falls in love at first sight. It's not something he tells the other members of the Bullingdon club, especially when the person he falls in love with is Merlin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miraimaym](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Miraimaym).



> Dear Miraimaym, this is for you! I hope this is the kind of Merthur you enjoy! It was inspired by what a huge, giant goober Arthur is on the show when he's enchanted to fall in love. 
> 
> Hugs and thanks to Camelittle for helping me with the Bullingdon club idea. I hope the Oxford setting is recognizable. This thing didn't need a Britpick; it needed a Brit pick axe and I ran out of time for it. Next time, I swear!
> 
> My apologies as always to anyone who actually lives in the places I blithely reference, including the LGBTQ society. No insult is intended.

Arthur's gap year  
Santiago De Compostela, Spain

Arthur leaned over the desk, happy to find it smelled of pencil shavings, a pleasant change from the pong of trapped teenager that hung in the air. He turned his head, where it was pillowed on his arms, trying to see if he knew the other people playing the game. The person in the seat next to him was a girl he'd seen once or twice on the Camino, always wearing the same cut off shorts with the tatty fringe. She was attractive. He wouldn't mind her. On his right there was a guy from France somewhere, so tan his skin didn't even contrast with the long brown hair.

They were all young in the old school room. The older people walking the path to Compostela had crammed into the hostels along the way. They wouldn't want to trespass here. The group who'd agreed to bunk in the sweltering stink of the old school didn't mind breaking more rules, sleeping a little rougher. And most of them expected to hook up. That was the game.

"So this is how it works." The girl talking from up on the dais could have been any of the leaders, the ones who'd done it before. Arthur didn't look. He kept his head down and listened, his heart beating hard against the desk. "It's just like seven up when you were a kid, right?"

A few of the people from France and Italy muttered here. Maybe they didn't know what 7-up meant. Arthur enjoyed the sound of it, all the annoyance, riding out the rolling cadence and dissipating.

"If you're playing, you have to shut your eyes. You put your head down on the desk and you put up your fingers. Left side girls, right side boys. You want a threesome, you put up 2 fingers. If someone chooses you, they'll push down your finger. Got it?"

Arthur tucked his fingers under. He didn't want a threesome. He resisted the urge to raise his hand to ask how he could say what he did want without using two fingers.

Then somebody turned out the lights. Arthur could hear the people who would be choosing, their sandals slapping a little against the floor tiles. Someone was approaching him. Arthur thought maybe he knew who it was. Two weeks ago, there was someone he'd danced with who'd used a lot of Old Spice and he thought he could smell it now. No, he definitely could. Not many people still smelled like product this far into the Camino and the guy was definitely here; Arthur had seen him crouching in the plaza hours ago, eating one of those measly little sandwiches you could get from a machine.

The footsteps stopped right next to him. Arthur could hear the guy breathing, the guy who had hair that brushed his shoulders and a stupid shell necklace and the most beautiful v shaped back. Arthur was a competitive person, and it was, finally, fury that someone else might have this boy that made him uncurl the sweaty clench of his fist and raise one finger of his right hand.


	2. Arthur Kisses Merlin

Oxford, England

Arthur was in his second year now. He supposed he should be used to Uni.

His rooms were some of the best on the quad. It was squalor, really, but it was medieval squalor and well located. Most people who lived in warmer, less central digs pretended to envy him.

Arthur hated it. His real self wasn't here. His real life was a little outside of town, working a lathe and in love with a girl who had warm, calm eyes. Or possibly it was still walking the Camino in Spain.

No way was this him squinting over a macroeconomics textbook. He'd highlighted practically the whole page in a fit of energy at the beginning of term and now just looking at it made his eyes hurt. 

Arthur closed his eyes against the neon yellow glare and waited. Sooner or later someone always interrupted him. It was just a matter of time before he escaped, assuming Leon didn't chain him to the desk.

The snoring from the bed next to him said that wouldn't happen. His roommate had worn himself out driving to visit Arthur's sister in London again.

"Pendragon, are you coming?" Arthur opened his eyes and smiled. It was Gwaine calling. There was his cue. Gwaine could sense a wavering swot from miles away.

"Of course, he's coming. Pendragon's not going to let us down this term."

The second voice was slightly slurred. It belonged to Stevens who was, arguably, the biggest ass of Arthur's acquaintance, though not a bad forward. Arthur disagreed with him more often than he let on. This time, however, he was right.

Of course Arthur was coming. Since he'd broken up with Gwen he had a lot of spare time. It was amazing how your schedule unfroze when you weren't always at some wood working shop, trying to impress your girlfriend's dad.

He stuck his head out the window.

"I'm going to shinny down the rain pipe. Can't wake Knight." Leon had pushed his bed between Arthur and the door.

"Well tell him to come along." That was Gwaine of the hollow leg and extra liver.

"I thought it was members only tonight." Stevens sounded confused. "And why don't you tell the ginger off? I swear he's your nanny or does he refuse sex if you come home late?"

Arthur pulled his head back in and hopped into his trousers as quietly as he could. Nanny was not far off the mark, actually. Leon knew all was not right with Arthur and was doing his best to help.

Leon was the only person he knew at Oxford whom he'd introduced to Gwen. He'd seen the mess start to finish: Arthur meeting Gwen, Arthur losing Gwen, the whole brief, insane time after he came back from Spain, when Arthur had fallen in love with a townie girl and lost the plot.

Leon was the only person who knew how close he had come to quitting Uni altogether and apprenticing in that shop. He was the only one who knew how much he'd been drinking that first week after Gwen left.

He was fine now, but Leon didn't seem to know it. He hadn't returned any of the gin and scotch bottles Arthur used to keep under his bed. And he made little notes on his blackberry every time Arthur went out. Arthur suspected he was sharing incriminating evidence about him to his sister, Morgana, who was also Leon's girlfriend. Wretched traitor.

"Keep it in your knickers, Stevens; I'm coming. 'Ware below!"

And he jumped, right into a mud puddle.

* * *  
Many hours later these three members of the Bulingdon club stumbled back in the direction they'd started, a little worse for wear. 

The club adhered to a strict dress code. They were all in tails with white fronted shirts and bow ties in a slightly trying cool blue. 

Now Steven's tie had come half cocked and Arthur's shirt was not what it was and his feet had been wet from the beginning. Gwaine's braces were hung at his knees and he'd sprouted what looked like a half growth of beard over night. He looked pretty good, though. He always looked better rough. Arthur had plans to hate Gwaine for it someday, if he ever got around to it.

"What are all these sorry sods queued up for, do you think?" Stevens leaned his not insubstantial weight on Arthur's shoulder. The more homophobic remarks he made the friendlier he got.

Arthur shifted Stevens weight onto the grey stone wall. He spent a few extra moments there himself, leaning and squinting through the mizzle.

"I think it's for a band."

"Yes!" Gwaine smacked his cane against Arthur's buttocks. "It's DollyLorca. You uncultured sots won't have heard of it, but it's sick shit."

"Sick shit?" Arthur rubbed his arse. It was already sore from yesterday's scrimmage and couldn't sustain much more damage, "You do know that carrying that cane doesn't make you smarter anymore than using gangsta slang makes you cool."

"I know that whatever I'm doing, I'm getting laid, mate."

Arthur snorted. So did Stevens. They both knew Gwaine had him there.

"Why don't we just queue up then? It's too late to sleep anyway. We can sober up while we wait."

"Sober up?" Stevens sneered a little. Don't say dirty words like that, Pendragon. You offend me." 

Stevens bellied up with the rest of them, though. He always did whatever anyone else suggested. Arthur let himself roll his eyes. Most of the time he didn't know why he palled around with the club. The only members he liked were already in rugby anyway. It was probably a sop to his father who'd also been a member. He'd felt the need to prove he was serious about keeping up the Pendragon side. There'd been doubts, lately, expressed by the old man. That was the one thing he missed about the rash, heady days of his love affair; he'd felt no pang about Uther's opinion then.

They opened the gate and walked up the walk to the ticket window. Bells rang an ungodly hour and students began to turn up. Just a few at first, then more. Soon, previously unsuspected hordes were approaching from every side, apparently desperate to see this band with the idiotic name. Arthur would be damned if he let any of them beat him. Not deigning to run, he did push off a bit from the toes, his wet shoes creaking and sloshing

He was the third in the queue.

"Hah! And they say breeding doesn't show." Stevens was wheezing slightly catching up.

"More like two hours of practice daily." Green pointed out. Gwaine was mostly in the club, Arthur suspected, because he was too lazy to find good watering holes on his own. He didn't seem to take the snobbery and affectation as anything other than something to don for the occasion, like his cane. Arthur agreed without quite being able to carry it off like he didn't care.

"Rugby thighs tell no lies," he said.

"Oi! You asshats can get back in the queue like everybody else!"

Arthur felt a finger poking in his back. He turned around and was met by someone with pink hair and a lot of piercings. He winced slightly. Some people really were better not calling attention to their features like that. 

"I beg your pardon?" He said to the pink prickly face, "I don't remember you being here before and I got my place here the same as any one."

"No you didn't. My boyfriend is in front of you!"

"Boyfriend?" Arthur made a show of looking around. "I'm afraid imaginary friends don't count here at University."

Stevens and Gwaine both sniggered. Arhtur could see it annoyed the ugly bloke who gritted his teeth.

"Prick. My boyfriend...my lover was in front of you." He pronounced the word lover as if he owned it, which got Arthur's back up somehow. "He just stepped out to take a leak when I got here."

Arthur's bladder could not really be described as happy, despite being emptied into a fountain a few hours ago. He was not inclined to give credit for potty breaks.

"I think you'd be better off finding a new place in the queue before Dalilama is sold out."

"Dalilama?" Oh my God, you don't even know the name of the band."

The offended person looked over Arthur's shoulder.

"There he is now. Merlin!"

Arthur turned to face the new comer, ready to give him some well deserved scorn for leaving his post. His words died in his mouth. 

Merlin's legs were long. His mouth was lush. He had black hair, curling around elvin ears. The eyes that looked up and assessed Arthur's were huge, bright and sleepy at once, the eyes of someone who was waking up from some better world. His narrow hips were an invitation to sin.

Oh Double bollocks. Arthur knew this feeling. It had happened once before, the day he met Gwen. She was standing in front of her father's shop, blowing sawdust off a new frame and he had turned his back on Leon, running back to talk to her.

She had seemed to be singled out by the light around her, caught in the moment, her lips rounded, her eyes warm with regard for everyone they saw, even this odd stranger. 

That day he'd decided what he'd done with those guys in Spain must have been a phase. He couldn't imagine ever wanting anyone other than her.

He didn't think he'd ever feel this way again. .

Galloping, rampaging bollocks.

 

"Everything alright, Gilli?"

Merlin was pulling earbuds out of his ears, looking around. Did Arthur imagine his gaze hung longer on his own face than necessary? He pulled his shoulders back and tried to look sober and nonchalant.

"We're just having a disagreement about who was first in the queue."

"Well Gilly was holding my place, weren't you Gilly?"

For the first time, pink hair looked a little uncertain.

"I was getting my umbrella from over by the wall for a second and when I came back, these arseholes were racing to get here."

Merlin frowned.

"I stayed up all night to get these tickets. Most of them were pre sold."

"I know," Gilly wrapped a possessive arm around Merlin. Arthur wanted to snatch it off. "and I swear it was only a second. These entitled knobs came out of no where just because if there's a queue they have to be at the front of it."

"Hold on there," Gwaine had that belligerent look that never boded well. They'd been kicked out of more pubs than Arthur could count within five minutes of that look. "I like DollyLorca. As is my right. And I don't see how you're in a queue if you're not there."

"You like Dolly Lorca." Gilli sneered. "You do know they're gay, don't you? The title of the band comes from Lorca, the Spanish poet. I bet you don't even know he was in love with Dali. Or care. You should come back when they have Taylor Swift or something."

Gwaine was pushing his chest into Gilli's space and Arthur knew he should do something about it. There was something about Gwaine's size. He was wiry and not overly tall and a lot of men foolishly thought they could take him.

Unfortunately he could not quite gather himself to do anything about it. Since seeing Merlin he was far away, on the path back to Spain, following Gilli's words about Lorca to a square in Sevilla. He imagined Merlin in the orange grove by the Cathedral, plucking an orange. 

"I tell you what, you can have our place in the queue, since you relate to this music so well." Gilli said, He crossed his arms over his chest, outlining a gangly torso.

"They can?" Merlin looked incensed and Arthur didn't blame him. This Gilli had definitely let him down.

"Yes. It will cost you one kiss. Shouldn't bother you. I'm sure you're not homophobic at all."

"Well that's a load of shite is what that is," Gwaine said. "Arthur was here first and that's all there is to it."

"I don't expect he thinks he needs to be decent, since he's a fairy." Stevens added.

"It's no problem," Arthur said, "I'll do it."

"What?"

"Arthur, you really don't need to do this. This is pure bollocks"

"You're actually going to kiss me?" Pink hair wrinkled his nose, Arthur noticed, like a rabbit.

"Not you. Him."

Merlin did not have time to answer. Arthur was already pulling his trim waist towards him and adjusting his head down, ever so slightly. The blighter was tall. Arthur compensated by pulling all of Merlin tighter to him and pressed his lips to the plush ones he'd seen. He paused for a moment, waiting for a signal. The lips moved against his in return; Arthur could feel the smallest of sighs move through Merlin's body. His eyes fluttered closed.

For several solid seconds it was heavenly, and then, just as Arthur was starting down the narrowing plane of Merlin's back and about to find out precisely what contours were hidden under the seat of his joggers, Pink hair pulled him by the shirt.

"I suppose you think this is funny?"

"You told me to kiss him!" 

But Gilli was not talking to Arthur. He was addressing Stevens and Gwaine, who were guffawing and slapping their legs.

"Give me five," Gwaine said and, in a daze, Arthur did.

He wanted to undo the act as soon as he saw Merlin's face. He looked furious and a little ashamed.

"Come on, Gilli, let's get out of here."

"But we have the right to our tickets."

"I said, let's go."

Stevens shook his head. 

"Look at the two of them running off. See this is why twinks should not date other twinks. Pathetic."

Arthur could not stop watching Merlin leave. If only he'd been left to continue the kiss, everything would have been clean and open and irrevocable. Now he felt how impossible it would be to explain to his friends that he had wanted Gilli's boyfriend . He could feel the moment between him and Merlin stretch thin and snap.

"Let's go too," he said. "I'm too tired to stand here."

"Agreed," Stevens rolled his massive shoulders. "I don't want to listen to this whiny poofter crap anyhow."

"Oh my God, Arthur," Gwaine said, "did you see that bloke's face when you snogged his date?" He didn't realize you don't dare a Pendragon."

Gwaine continued to expound on this theme all the way back to college, and although Arthur tried many times to interrupt him and explain, somehow he never could.


	3. Arthur Gets in Trouble for Kissing Merlin

Back in his rooms, Arthur lay face down. It wasn't hard to pretend to be dead. Dimly he heard the thud of Leon's heavy shoes as his roommate prepared to leave for the lecture they both attended on Mondays. 

"Arthur. Get your lazy arse out of bed!"

"Belt up,". ARthur muttered. The words came out through his pillow sounding more like. "BZZupT"

He could hear Leon muttering to himself as he gathered his books and keys: words like "selfish prat", "give the scout a chance to get in," "filthy toad."

Arthur didn't respond. Normally, after the thunk, thunk of Leon's size 12's hitting the floor, Arthur at least stirred himself to ask Leon to record the lecture for him. This time he sank deeper into the arms of Lethe, where he could simultaneously relive his kiss with Merlin and pretend it had never happened. 

Several hours later, racing for a meeting with his tutor, one hand clapped on his bag and the other trying to hold his gown together, Arthur was pretty sure he'd dreamed the whole thing up.

He had had a lot to drink, after all, again.

His tutor waved to him from the window as he watched Arthur tearing down the walk. Gaius was both daft and ruthless, a combination that Arthur didn't think existed other places, but seemed to be the chief requirement of Oxford dons. And now, no matter how well turned out Arthur was, walking in right on time, they both knew he was actually late and a number of other bad things, besides.

"I see you're keeping fit, Arthur." 

"Yes, Gaius." Mean sniggering old man, rubbing it in.

Arthur reached into his satchel, removed an essay that had been composed quickly, some time ago with the expectation that he would revisit it later. Gaius waved it away.

"I don't need to see that." 

He turned out to the window again, ignoring Arthur, who began to feel nervous.

"I thought the last one wasn't so bad. I know there was a bad patch there..." 

Gaius turned around.

"No, it wasn't bad. I didn't think "not bad" was the standard you were aiming for. Do you still intend to try for a first?"

Arthur gulped. "I do."

"There is a certain acuity, incisiveness, and dare I say, creativity that is required for a first degree or even a high second. You needn't bother writing a new essay till the first one can demonstrate at least one of these qualities. You're wasting your time, Mr Pendragon."

Gaius threw down a paper. It was not, as Arthur thought it would be, his old essay, but his latest exam results in statistics. 92. Just as good as his prelim, then. He exhaled with relief. 

Gaius sat down and pointed a gnarly finger at him.

"Things come too easily to you."

Did they? Arthur shifted his feet uneasily over the India carpet, unrolling a bit of it. Gaius had an overlapping mish mash of the things, like a pile of red dogs, instead of one big square one. He resisted the urge to check if he had gotten mud underneath it. 

Arthur didn't think things came too easily to him. Yes he was an old boy. Yes, he'd gotten from his father an instinct for handling numbers and facts . But that wasn't everything. What of the hours he'd labored to learn wood working; he'd never impressed Gwen's father with that. What about Gwen herself? He'd put far more into her than to Economics and History or rugby and she'd left him for some hopped up security guard named Lance, and now he'd fallen in love with someone who thought he was a bounder.

Well that hadn't happened, right?

Gaius sighed as if sensing his dismay. 

"Sit down, Arthur. "I've known you for a long time. I was tutor to your father when he was here you know."

Arthur bowed his head, hiding his expression. 

"My father is always quick to remind me he had a first here," he said. He wasn't able to completely disguise the bitterness in his voice.

He remembered a visit to this same study, a day when his father had business near Oxford and made the time to see his old tutor. He had crawled around on those carpets back then and eaten chocolates. He'd liked Gaius then, very much. 

"Your father was brilliant, but he lacked a certain empathetic imagination." By this Gaius meant his father was a Tory. "I had hoped you would be the best of him, go where he couldn't go." Arthur wasn't sure what Gaius meant by that. He seemed sometimes to think that Arthur might make it in politics, be an MP or something, liberal of course. Other times, it was obvious that Gaius thought him the biggest ass he'd ever tended to. This was shaping up to be one of those; he could tell.

"If this is about my father; I'm pretty sure we aren't coming from the same place," he began. Gaius interrupted him.

"I know you've joined that foolish drinking club," Gaius sat back down, stroked his pen in a slightly tremulous hand, "I didn't think you would actually turn out loutish, when the dust settled. Tell me, Arthur, how do you come to be accused of assaulting my nephew?"

"What? I haven't assaulted anyone!"

Gaius nodded. 

"I'm glad to hear you say that. I thought as much, but Merlin's been quite adamant about it. He says you forced yourself on him yesterday morning."

"It was a misunderstanding, a joke." Even as he said the words, Arthur hated himself. They weren't true. It was all to do with Spain and the smell of orange blossom, and soft willing lips meeting his. "His boyfriend dared me and my friends to kiss him and I did. That's all."

There was a long pause. Arthur had time to listen to his heart thump, to feel his body fill up with guilt and humiliation. Imaginary Merlin didn't exist, of course, but when he did he'd returned Arthur's kiss, willingly. Real Merlin, very real Merlin -so real he was actually Gaius' nephew- hadn't wanted to kiss him at all. 

"It did seem as if Gilli was the instigator of the incident. He's a thespian." Gaius' voice dipped into a frosty disdain as he pronounced the word, "prone to dramatics. I'm afraid it is he and not Merlin who presented the case to the proctor."

Arthur found his face in his hands. Gaius clapped him on the shoulder.

"Don't fret. You got carried away. It's good to be caught up short every now and then before further damage can be done. Anyway, Merlin spoke to the dean. He said he's willing to let it go if you'll act as dogs body for the lgbtq society. They have some kind of fair coming up."

From under the red and black haven of his hands, Arthur's eyes widened. He was going to be working with Merlin? They would be seeing each other again. And Merlin was Gaius' nephew; they had a connection in common. What a wonderful fellow Gaius was after all. Arthur's own optimism disgusted him, but he couldn't help it and grinned . Then he sank back into his hands again. It was all going to be very awkward in the club rooms.

* * *

When Arthur made it to the dining hall, letter from the Dean in hand, it was worse than he thought.

Stevens and Gwaine stood up and led a round of applause. Sweeping a quick glance around, Arthur saw the people applauding, basically a roster of every Tory student at Christ Church. Then the booing started, led he supposed by every one who might possibly want to be friends with him if he came out.

Only one person stood out, not clapping or jeering. Leon.

"Quiet everyone. Can't you see the man has a headache. Really, everyone has to eat in here. Give it up."

Leon snatched Arthur by the arm and tugged him down.

"What on earth has gotten into you, Arthur? It's gay bashing now?"

"There was no gay bashing about it. It was a simple dare."

"More like simple stupidity. Half the University is ready to pillory you. You'll be lucky if you don't get sent down. I think the time you're spending with those prats at the Bullingdon club has done your head in. "

Leon thumped his elbows on the table as he maneuvered his fork around, looking old fogeyish as ever. They'd known each other since prep school and Leon had seemed like an old man, even back then. Now he was wearing a green woolen vest that looked like he'd stolen it from his grandfather. Arthur doubted Morgana would have let him back from London looking like that.

"I won't be sent down. I have a letter from the Dean." He waved it. "Let's talk about you, shall we? I thought you were going to lose that old fossil look over the weekend. You didn't go on that shopping trip with Morgana?"

Leon blushed, no doubt recalling himself cringing in his pants as Arthur's sister stalked outside the changing room with an armful of couture.

"I just can't wear those skinny jeans she wants me in." He shuddered. "And once she suggested man culottes, I accidentally on purpose left the lot behind and she threw all my favorite things away." He plucked his vest. " I had to dig this out of the bin."

Arthur looked Leon over. His old friend wasn't bad looking. He had a good, solid, beef -eating physique. With those long legs he could probably survive stove pipe jeans, but he'd do better in something cozier, something to emphasize the power in his chest and arms and how good it would be to hug him.

"I'd throw the jeans and the vest both in the bin and go for a cable knit jumper."

Having decided that, Arthur started in on his squeakers and mash. He was starving he realized. It was extremely annoying when Leon gripped his wrist.

"Wait, Arthur. Why do you care what looks good on me?." Leon's pale blue eyes looked into his with the insight of long experience. " You're hiding something. I know that face." Leon was squinting at him, as if trying to squeeze more sight out of his pupils. "Morgana was just saying she thought you were checking me out sometimes."

Arthur snorted. There were a lot of people he saw in their underwear; he looked at all of them. So what? Leon must have read his mind. His eyes widened. "Are you gay, is this what this is about? Is that why you picked a fight with some homo fresher? That sounds like the kind of idiotic thing you'd do."

"I did not pick a fight. Stevens picked a fight, and Gwaine."

Leon wasn't listening. "And you mooned over a girl you could never have. That whole thing with that girl,Gwen, makes a lot more sense if you never wanted it to work out to begin with."

"Jesus Christ, Leon," Arthur snatched his arm back, "I did not pick out Gwen hoping it wouldn't work out. I wanted to marry her, remember?" Arthur's mind went back to her father, Tom's shop, where a certain marriage bed he'd been making still took up all sorts of room because he was too embarrassed to pick it up. "I'm not gay," he said, firmly. He wasn't, exactly. "And now who's a bigoted arsehole? Knowing about clothes doesn't make you homosexual."

"Yeah, mate, you're right. Sorry."

Leon, who wasn't inclined to dwell on things, went back to his food. Inwardly, Arthur groaned. If this conversation were relayed to Morgana, she would be here in a heart beat to witness for herself and she would not be as easy to fob off as Leon.

Around him, Arthur could hear the gossip about his run in with Pink Hair. It sounded like the accusation of assault had struck a nerve with the student body. Half the college thought that Arthur was the victim of reverse prejudice. The other half thought he was an entitled brute, trying to slide by on a technicality.

No one seemed to remember that it was Gili, not Merlin he'd been dared to kiss. No one knew he was in love with Merlin.

 

*.


	4. Arthur Talks Merlin Round

*The next day Arthur had his appointment to meet Merlin at the LGBTQ society to help set up for the event. He recognized his nerves as hopeful. Merlin had chosen to see him, after all. Perhaps he had liked Arthur's kiss and was only hurt by that high five afterwards. Arthur attempted to whack his optimism with a metaphorical stick. Far more likely this was a ritual humiliation, planned by Merlin and his horrible boyfriend, as they sat under the covers, drinking pink drinks that matched Gilli's hair and comparing moles.

Arthur admitted to himself that he would like to look at Merlin's moles.

Even in a grey drizzle, It wasn't hard to find the LGBTQ society. There was a great flag flying over it that could be seen for miles. It was a somewhat subtle flag, for all that, not quite a pure rainbow, as if mother Oxford had balked at the usual colors and gone for something a little more sherbety. It was not what Arthur'd imagined when he'd pictured himself walking under it.

He had pictured himself here, in fact, a couple times, after that summer in Spain only to scrupulously avoid the place all year. And then he'd met Gwen. Could it be that all he had to do was explain? I was smitten. I lost my head. I'm prone to these things. 

Arthur plopped on the nearest steps, letting his bum get wet. Who was he kidding. After the brou haha over the kissing incident, he couldn't expect sympathy. More like he'd be chased out of the building and pelted with things. And for the next punishment, they'd probably ask him to dress in drag instead of just slaving away at a fair. He was a member of the wrong club.

For now. Actually, there was glorious potential if he told the truth to be unwanted by everybody. He could just imagine Stevens' face when he blanked Arthur next time they met. He'd be black balled at the club and then Arthur's father would want an explanation for that. All for someone who didn't like him, anyway.``

Arthur opened the door, relieved to see almost no one around the scattered desks. There were a lot of chirpy bulletin boards announcing group outings at skittles and threatening to rain glitter at Uni events. Arthur picked up a little figure of a rugby player in rainbow kit. It was cute.

"Still fondling men you don't know, I see."

Shit. How had Merlin snuck in on him? Arthur wondered as he turned around if Merlin could possibly be as striking as he remembered. He wasn't sure which he hoped for more. It didn't matter. He was.

Merlin was dressed formally this time, in a blue corduroy suit that was ludicrous and slightly too small and looked fabulous on him. His eyes were cold.

"We rugby players are famously handsy,". Arthur held the figure aloft so Merlin could see, "builds team spirit." He started to pat it's little bum and then froze, mid pat. Why had he said that? This was the man he was accused of sexually assaulting.

To his relief Merlin rolled his eyes,. They even defrosted just a bit. 

"Mr. Forward, that's you. Let's get cracking. I want to get this over with."

Arthur played center, not forward, but he kept his mouth shut, carefully walking ahead even though he had no idea where he was going because he did not want Merlin to think he might begin patting his arse, too.

"So we've got to set up a tented area." Merlin pointed to four points in the enclosed grassy space. "Just to be on the safe side. No rain is predicted, though, so we're having at least half the tables exposed."

"That's good," Arthur said, smiling a bit. Merlin just grunted in response. Arthur longed for the opportunity to say something clever, but nothing occurred to him.. 

It was misty, the kind of wet that made every temperature feel worse. Arthur felt himself shifting from too cold to too hot. He stopped and pulled his jumper over his head. When he popped back up, Merlin was quickly looking away. What had he missed? Woolen ball held awkwardly under one arm, Arthur held the other one out. "I never actually said I was sorry, by the way, for chasing you away from the concert."

Merlin started to extend his hand and then seemed to think better of it. He shook his head.

"You know what. We don't need to do this routine"

"What routine?" Arthur put the rejected hand in his pocket. "I'm trying to make amends here."

"I don't need that. As far as I'm concerned the whole thing is over." He shrugged. "That doesn't mean we have to shake hands. It's not like, Oh fair play. I beat you in the 100 meters, or whatever."

"Well, technically I beat you." Arthur couldn't help a little smile. "It was a race to get in the queue and I won."

"Is that what you think happened?"

No, racing to get in the queue had been followed by the spontaneous and total eclipse of common sense that was Arthur falling in love with Merlin and subsequently kissing him.

"Pretty much."

"You are such an arse. I can't believe I volunteered to spend more time with you!"

"I'm a little surprised, myself, to be honest."

Merlin laughed. His eyes crinkled up and he looked sweet and chipper. It only lasted a moment, but Arthur hoped he would see it again.

"My uncle vouched for you. He convinced me that you are not actually a brutish reactionary, but simply and I quote " a confused young man."

Arthur had no doubt that Gaius thought him confused but he was surprised that he would back him up like that.

"I wouldn't have guessed Gaius liked me."

"Oh believe me if he didn't like you, he'd find ways to off load you on someone else. I think he's also nursing some kind of disappointment about your dad. They talk, occasionally, you know, and Gaius always mutters a lot afterwards and has two glasses of sherry instead of one after dinner."

Arthur nodded. He knew what it was to nurse disappointments over Uther.

"So you live with Gaius?"

"We can't all afford a hundred pounds a week for a room." Merlin flushed but he refused to look away. Arthur didn't care about that. He was more concerned with how closely his life abutted Merlin's after all. If he had known that Merlin lived with someone who talked to Uther, would he have kissed him? He would certainly never have begrudged him a place in a queue.

They worked in silence for a while, setting up. The sun was advancing on the morning rain, which was a good sign.

"So what is this event you're planning?" Arthur hoisted yet another stack of chairs off a table. "There has to be at least a quarter mile of seating here. It's overkill for a welfare tea, don't you think?"

"It's not a welfare tea," Merlin sniffed.

Arthur pointed to the huge tin urns he and Merlin had set up, and the doilies.

"What's this lot then?"

"Look I'll admit our money raising schemes have been a little short of brilliant, but I've planned something different for this one. It's a community fair."

"What's a community fair?" Most people in Arthur's crowd had a lot of personal experience with the means people used to raise money. Morgana was forever organizing some dinner to benefit something or the other. Community fair was new to him.

"You mean you haven't heard of it?" Merlin shook his head in half time, which was surprisingly irritating. "Amazing how insular you rahs are."

"Rahs?" Arthur knew what Merlin was talking about. He'd seen his share of people in board shorts during his gap year. "There are no rahs in Bullingdon club." He imagined Stephens wearing flip flops and sniggered.

"Excuse me." Merlin's cheeks flared red as he attempted to hoist a water cooler that weighed more than he did. "I guess I'm not up on all the minute distinctions among the higher orders here at Oxford. I may live with Gaius, but I'm still just a little lad from Wales."

"That's alright. I forgive you." Merlin plopped the water cooler down on Arthur's hand. "Ow, what's that for?"

It's all real, isn't it? I can hardly believe it, but it's true."

"What's true?" Arthur shook his fingers, frowning at Merlin who had a saucy, malicious grin on his face rapidly turning into a moue of disgust. "You don't have to look at me like that."

"You really think you are better than everyone else. I thought the Bullingdon thing might be just an act." He waved his hand about. "Monocles and sticks and all that Edwardian hoo-haw..."

"Edwardian hoo what?" Merlin had a very funny way of talking, and a bit of an accent.

"There was something about you that seemed, I don't know, natural when you kissed me. It didn't feel like hate. It felt spontaneous. That's why I told Gilli to let it go. But now I see that you seemed relaxed because it didn't matter to you. I don't count. Most of us here are no one to you."

Arthur stared at Merlin. His eyes were bright with rage and what looked like sadness. Arthur felt an awful need to take him up and kiss all the sadness away. As for the source of the rage, it was inexplicable. Merlin thought he didn't count? 

"Go back to the part where you thought I was a natural kisser again." 

"You've got to be kidding me." Merlin stalked up to him. Arthur could feel his breath rising faster and then not falling again. He was going to be light headed in a minute. He could smell Merlin now, the soap smell was coming off of his skin with the sweat. His eyes were wider and darker this close. "My friend, Freya, said Ocham's razor. She said the simplest explanation was you were attracted to me."

"Yes,"

"That you just kissed me because you wanted to."

"Yes."

"Because Gilli gave you the excuse."

"You're smarter than you look."

Merlin gave him a shove.

"That's a hundred times worse!"

'"I don't see how." Arthur was giddy. He pulled up a chair and patted the seat. "Stop pacing around. You're making me dizzy."

As soon as Merlin was seated, Arthur sat next to him. It was hard to remember how to look serious when his voice was full of suppressed laughter. Merlin liked him, too. His memory of the kiss wasn't false. "I'm sorry I kissed you without your permission, if that helps. I should have said that right off, before anything. I hope it wasn't traumatic for you."

Merlin ran his hands through his hair, exposing his big ears. His eyes looked frantic, but, not, Arthur thought, like he was looking inward at remembered pain. They were flickering everywhere: the grass, his hands, the tent spikes. Everywhere but Arthur.

"This is no excuse. You have no excuse." Merlin looked up at Arthur and whispered, "I have no excuse."

"You have no excuse?" Arthur liked the sound of that.

"You're fit. You have.." Merlin waved at Arthur's body, "Shoulders..It felt good. I liked it."

Merlin looked down and blushed as if he were ashamed; it was cute and perhaps a little insulting. Why shouldn't he have liked Arthur?

"I thought so." Arthur tilted Merlin's chin up again, the way he had that first time. "I waited a moment for you to make sure."

"I remember."

"I thought you did."

This time Merlin started the kiss first. Arthur gathered him in and doubled what Merlin had offered, his reach pulling them half out of their chairs.

Soon they were stumbling for a surface that wouldn't give, trying a table leg, a tent pole and a statue far shorter than it needed to be for the purpose before they finally sank to the ground.

"Oh shit, why am I such a slut for you." Merlin rolled on the ground trying to inch the narrow shoulders of his jacket off. Arthur watched him struggle for a moment before pulling the whole thing off with one long tug of the sleeve.

"There now. You're not a slut."

"No?" 

"Clearly we're soul mates. You couldn't help yourself."

Underneath Merlin was only wearing a simple purple tee-shirt. His arms were long, the wrists bony. Arthur had never seen such a delicious expanse. He held it up and kissed it.

"What are you doing down there?"

"Oh I'm exploring you. Or eating you. Some combination. You're absolutely delicious."

Arthur kept his tone light but he meant ever word. The veins on Melrin's arm were a miracle to him, he had to trace each one from wrist to elbow with his mouth. the long and clever thumb was the epitome of man's abilities with his hands. 

Merlin laughed till it turned his eyes to slits"

"What is this- the Adam's Family?. You know where Gomez Adams is always grabbing his wife and nibbling on her." Merlin stared up at his arm where Arthur was brushing his lips. "Do I look like Morticia Adams to you?"

Arthur considered. "Not completely unlike, I'd say. Dark, skinny and mysterious. Very nice." 

"I'm not sure I want to be like Morticia Adams." While he was talking, Merlin was backing Arthur up. His back was against a lichen covered wall now, both hard and squishy. Merlin was straddling him and Arthur reached his arms around at last to the small of his back and top of his arse that had begun to move, undulating on top of Arthur and beginning to feel good.

"You'll get used to it." He croaked. And kissed Merlin again.

"No, I've decided against that. I think it's better if you don't think this is exotic. I'm normal. Not Morticia, got it?"

"You are so much better than normal." 

It was true. Arthur could not believe he had ever denied himself what he felt now. He picked up one elegant hand and kissed it on the palm.

Merlin's smile had got a bit lazy. He snickered and used their joined hands to pull Arthur back down. Instead of kissing again, he whispered in Arthur's ear.

"I just realized that under that prattish exterior you are probably the biggest dork in Oxford, no in Great Britain, possibly the world."

"Hey, watch that mouth!"

"No you watch it!" Merlin lay back against the wall and leaned back, waiting for Arthur to come forward. His trousers were tight over his crotch, showing that he was very aroused, but he didn't move.

"Yes,". Arthur whispered. He took his time crawling up to Merlin, then he stopped short of all he wanted to do. He ran his hands, with dragging thumbs, over the tops of Merlin's long thighs. 

He was ruthless when he got to the bump of Merlin's trapped erection, passing over it until finally he was crushing the narrow hips in his hands that had called him to sin the first time he saw them.

Arthur was trembling, but his hands did not shake. He leaned over Merlin's mouth and relished sharing breath with him and reached out the tip of his tongue and slowly lapped at Merlin's lips.

He could bare anymore just yet. Merlin fell into his lap and pulled his shoulders closer; and they kissed.

After a few minutes, by mutual agreement, without saying a word, they slowed down. They finished setting up and poured themselves water, sitting down in the middle of the long row of tables. Merlin started playing with his hair and squeezing his biceps, until Arthur trapped his hands.

"I'll have to break up with Gilli." Merlin said.

"Well that was inevitable."

"You'll have to come out to your horrid drinking club."

Arthur stopped.

"Less inevitable, but likely."

Merlin took his hand out of Arthur's, leaving him feeling a cold and damp after impression of where his fingers had been.

"It's a definitely or I leave."

"OK". 

"OK? That's it? No struggle, no crisis?"

Arthur shrugged. Parading himself around as queer before Stevens and his father and the various other people who knew him would be gruesome, but he'd been willing to face disapproval before. And this time he would have Merlin to show for it and not just a piece of furniture.

"Maybe I'll invite the club to the fair. They'll want to come make fun of me, anyway. That'll ease the topic in a bit. What's the theme of the fair, did you say again?"

"Oh," said Merlin, "It's a ...

He never did finish the sentence. The rest of the crew had arrived and Arthur got his first lesson in the real work of politics as he attempted to go around the group and shake hands and make everyone like him.

* * *

Arthur didn't so much walk as float back to his rooms. He was propelled by relief and joy, whipped into a powerful force by a cold wind of dread. He felt very, very alive, able to take on anything. He was in a dragon slaying mood, ready either to conquer or die, whichever came first. 

When he opened his door he met something he hadn't prepared for.

"Morgana, what are you doing here?"

His sister sprang as she always did straight into the heart of every sore spot.

"I heard you came within a hair of getting sent down, Arthur, so I thought I'd warn you."

"Warn me about what?" She was fixing him a drink. His old alcohol store had, he noticed been restored and was now displayed on an actual bar, complete with things that girls and other foreigners liked, such as Cointreau. "Is that where my desk used to be?"

Morgana threw her hair over her shoulder and sat on his bed, sipping her drink while handing him his: Morgana seemed to think there was no hour too early if the wine was good enough.

"You're not getting much use out of it this term, are you, Arthur?"

Arthur grunted in response. He started kicking around looking for his papers. "Oh for goodness sakes, I just put it next to Leon's in the other room. It's fine."

"Leon!" He was going to kill the ginger haired traitor. He knew his humming drove Arthur spare when he revised.

"Leon's gone to fetch me a sandwich. I'm not in the mood to eat in hall and besides I needed to talk to you. Our darling father is coming to pay you a visit." She took a sip of her drink. "It seems the dean knows him through golf or something stupid and your little gay bashing incident came to light, along with your somewhat subpar performance for your tutor."

Morgana's green eyes narrowed and Arthur prepared for the real reason she was visiting. "I can get him off your back, Arthur, but only if you promise me it isn't true."

"What isn't true?"

"That you're not going to rise up the ranks, a hob-nailed bully in disguise and make me hate you."

"You don't hate me already?"

"It's a near thing. Leon told me how moony in love you were and it made you sound almost human. I was hoping we could talk about it over dinner."

Arthur supposed it was fair that Leon discussed his roommate with his girl friend. He made a note to have his own flat third year. He and Merlin would need a place to shag, anyway.

"About that. I have a little volunteer thing I have to do, because of the incident, you know." He heaved a breath. Rip off the plaster, Pendragon, all in one it's perfect. "Do you think you could arrange to drag Dad there? He'll see it's all taken care of."

"Certainly, Arthur," She leaned forward and gave him one of her slightly verbena scented kisses. "Just don't help Leon fish anymore of his vests out of the bin, yes?"

Arthur had no problem with that.

"Anyway, I have a little surprise for you I think you are going to like."

Whatever the surprise was, Arthur bet he could beat it.


	5. Arthur's Friends and Family Accept the Wrong Person

The set up for the fair was completely transformed. Despite the fact that Arthur had set most of the things up himself, he hardly recognized it. In addition to the drink tables and tea stations, there were two dozen venders, grocers, and antique displays as well as local craftsman. He spotted Merlin standing beside a ceramics table..

He ran up and kissed him on the cheek and Merlin blushed prettily.

"Wow, I have to admit, I thought for a minute you wouldn't show."

"After I ran the gauntlet with all your friends earlier?" It hadn't been that bad. Freya had given him a bit of a stinging slap on the arse, but it was mostly friendly and she was too small to do much damage. "Actually, I'm not too eager to see Gilli."

"He won't come. He's nursing his wounds, " Merlin gave a rueful laugh. "It hadn't been working out well between us anyway, to be honest, but he takes it hard being replaced by what he calls a rabid jock. He pinched Arthur's arse to chase away the frown that threatened and Arthur wondered why everyone was always abusing his back side. "Speaking of rabid jocks, where are your friends?"

"They'll be here." Arthur scanned the crowd. "Actually my family's coming, too."

"Really!" The smile Merlin flashed him then kept proportion with his ears. "You don't do things by halves, do you, Arthur Pendragon?"

Arthur went from dreading the triangulation of Merlin, Uther and Morgana to basking in the glow of it. He hadn't thought the reward for coming out with Merlin would come so soon. Perhaps old Gaius was right and he was just one of those lucky people. 

"I see my sister there. Come meet her!"

Arthur pushed through the crowds, trailing Merlin by the hand until they found Morgana. She was looking elegant and smug in a green suit jacket and ridiculous boots, standing right in front of a wood working display. She had her hand on the shoulder of a petite dark skinned girl. Arthur knew who she was even before she turned around and said his name.

"Arthur!"

"Gwen!"

Morgana didn't let a moment intervene.

"Surprise! Guess who I interviewed as an alumna for London University?" Morgana had pursued her career from London from the beginning, as a protest, or as an excuse for spending more on her wardrobe. "It wasn't a complete coincidence, I admit, Leon told me about her, how she was taking her A-levels."

Arthur's head was spinning. Gwen was applying for a degree? Why did Leon know this when he didn't? Why were they bringing Gwen to him now?

"I didn't know you'd sat the exams. Congratulations, Gwen." Arthur leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek. She was so familiar, a little warm thing. He'd forgotten how pretty she was.

"Lance was teaching me." Gwen bit her lip and he knew she was feeling guilty. He wished he could spare her that. He of all people knew she hadn't chosen to hurt him. No one could help falling in love. "I finished on my own, though." She brought her head up with a defiant shake of her curls. "He went back to France last Fall. But that's not why I'm here." 

So Lance had left her! The swine! At one time the news would have thrilled him, but now it just filled him with tenderness for Gwen, not that she would not want his pity. The brave smile she gave told several stories about Gwen, some that he knew already, some that he just found out. She was proud, she was generous in her opinions of others and unafraid to mix with people who might look down on her because she herself did not look down. She was hoping to get back together with Arthur again.

Oh Christ. And Morgana had set her up for humiliation, thinking that Arthur was still in love with her. Some surprise.

"Gwen's here for her family's wood working exposition." Morgana grinned at everyone, radar style. Arthur could see she'd detected incoming people.

"I'm sorry, who are you again?"

Arthur was surprised at Merlin's tone. Even the first few minutes setting up with Arthur he hadn't sounded so nasty. He laid a hand on Arthur's shoulder, but dropped it before Arthur could be certain he was being claimed.

"I'm a friend of Arthur's." Gwen's dimpled smile, as sincere as ever, met none from Merlin.

"I used to work in her father's wood shop," Arthur explained.

"She and Arthur are more than friends," Morgana said, "He made her a marriage bed."

"Right." Gwen was too honest to look Arthur in the eye. "Anyway, it's being exhibited here with the rest of the things from the shop. I know you worked hard on it.

"What's this Arthur's worked hard on?" It was Arthur's father, striding up with that vigorous way he had that always made him seem to approach too quickly. He had Leon next to him. They were wearing matching camel hair coats. Uther was taking off his gloves with an air of menace that made the garment look much better on him. "I have to say it's relief to hear it. I thought he was mostly canoodling unwilling gay students."

There were so many answers to that. Arthur wanted to scream that the work he did with Gwen's father was meaningful. He wanted to brag that Merlin was not unwilling. Looking at Gwen, who was shrinking slightly into herself, exposed as Morgana's little project, he chose to answer the question at face value.

"I spent time last term learning the craft at Gwen's family's work shop, Father." Arthur pointed to the booth behind them, where there were mostly frames and knick knacks but also a few pieces of sizable furniture, the largest of them the four poster frame into which Arthur had poured all of his passion and most of his time.

"You mean to tell me that you barely scraped a pass on most of your work last term because you wanted to play carpenter?"

Arthur's father looked at the Smith Family's display, but he did not see what Arthur saw. 

"And you are going to marry this girl? Are you out of your mind.?"

"I thought you were gay!" Merlin's shout was drowned out by the advent of Stevens and Gwaine.

"Arthur!" Gwaine clapped Arthur on the back. "Where's your rainbow apron? Or is it a ball and gag? How exactly do you show that you're enslaved to the LGBTQ society?"

"I'm not enslaved," Arthur said. He smiled back at Merlin. "I'm a member. Well, I will be."

Merlin's face did not un frown, as he hoped it would. He was looking over Arthur's head at Stevens, who was whispering furiously with Leon. If this were rugby practice he would already be butting his head into their woolen coated stomachs. As he watched, they laughed. Their humor, the fucking ha ha ha, infuriated him. He knew what it was. He did it, too.

"Sorry, Arthur." Stevens pretended to wipe tears. "Leon was just telling me that this wasn't your first experience of enslavement. You were also one of the seven dwarfs, chiseling away for the fair maiden."

"It was nothing like that!." 

"True," Stevens looked Gwen up and down twice, "She's no Snow White, is she?"

That got Morgana's attention. She grabbed up Gwen's hand. Gwen snatched it back again.

"You know, I still have work to do, setting up. Thank you for your help, Morgana. It was good to see you again, Arthur."

"Oh no, Gwen!" Leon threw Arthur an apologetic look. He didn't try to touch Gwen, Arthur was glad to see, because he was under all his dunder-headedness, a gentleman. "I do hope you'll stay. This has all run a bit foul of the mark somehow, but everyone wants to meet you. We've heard such good things from Arthur."

Gwen was calm. She cocked her odd little chin at Arthur.

"I don't think many of you have heard about me from Arthur." Her eyes filled now and Arthur knew she was hearing his words, his words of last year, when he told her not only how beautiful she was but also how inspiring, how she was going to alter his life course. "I wonder," she looked at Merlin, too, which nobody else had done, "If he understood what he wanted when he was with me. If it was real."

The falseness of that stung Arthur. He saw it had humiliated her in a different way from the digs about her skin color, or her father's store. She thought he had never wanted her. 

Leon picked this one time in his life to be quick on the up take.

"Oh that!" He threw back his head in relief. "Oh no need to worry. Arthur's not gay. He told me just yesterday when I asked."

Gwen didn't look at Leon. It was Arthur who had to decide if they could be friends again or if his time with her really had been a grubby lie. He took her hand.

"I'm not gay. You really did break my heart."

Her hug was like a koala bear on his chest, tight and small. Arthur grinned at everyone around him and forgave them, even his father, who seemed to sense it and inclined his head. Gwen's grin was even huger.

"It's not nice of you to be happy about it," he said, "you cruel woman!" 

Then Arthur's smile faded. This was the awkward part. "Look things have changed. Do you mind if we speak privately?"

The words were for Merlin as well. Arthur looked behind him to make sure he had his boyfriend's permission to talk to his ex-girlfriend. But Merlin was gone.

 

* * *

"I think he left when you said you weren't gay," Morgana said."Call it a hunch."

Arthur saw everyone staring around him. There seemed to be two kinds of stares. The women looked sad; the men looked blank.

"I don't understand. Didn't I just tell you all I'm bisexual?"

"No, I didn't get that, mate, but congratulations and all that." Gwaine turned away. Stevens stalked off with him. He could tell from their backs that Gwaine would be back under his window by nightfall, waving a bottle of champagne and he'd never talk to Stevens again.

"You're bisexual." Uther's lips thinned over the word. "It's not the kind of thing people usually bruit about, Arthur."

"I didn't bruit it about..." Arthur turned to Leon in a panic. He shrugged. Morgana smacked him in the arm.

"That's right you didn't, fool. Is Merlin your boyfriend?"

"Yes, I was going to introduce him to you,". He longed to say "and then you made a bloody mess of it, Morgana," but he couldn't call Gwen a bloody mess.

"I think he heard you say you don't like men, Arthur." Gwen's eyes were a little misty as she sipped her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. "And maybe no one understood what you meant about joining the LGBTQ?. But you do like him, don't you?" 

Arthur couldn't answer yet; he was still staring at the place where Merlin used to be. "I don't think we need to have that private conversation, after all," Gwen continued, "maybe coffee sometime?

"Arthur!" Morgana's voice cut through Arthur's confusion. "You ass! Don't let him leave like that. Run!"

Arthur ran, with all of the strength of his youth and ability, with the many miles he'd put on his legs under the Spartan discipline of his various schools. He hardly minded his chest heaving.

There was only one problem. He had no idea where he was going.

"Oh fuck!" When he'd left his friends and family far behind, he sank with his hands on his knees, looking down an empty road, catching his breath.

He didn't know the first thing about Merlin, where he lived, who he confided in, what his fucking mobil number might be.

It was a long humiliating trip back to the LGBTQ society. Of course Gilli was there.

"Oh it's you." The hair wasn't pink anymore, Arthur noticed. He'd shaved it down to nubs.

"I'm looking for Freya." She was the one who'd believed he liked Merlin from the first, and she'd whacked his bum, which made them friends of a sort.

"I don't think anyone wants to see you here, including Freya. We all watched Merlin literally running away from you. What was it this time, Pendragon? A full on rape attempt?"

"I just want him to know that I love him." Arthur wasn't looking at Gilli, but he could see him turning away, heard him slamming the door.

"How can you love someone you just met?" It was Freya, standing in the door way, only making it halfway up the lintel. "That sounds a little dotty to me."

"I don't know. I'm just like that. I can tell right off." Arthur sighed. 

"You do know you are like the biggest musical cliche ever?" Freya took him by the hand and led him to a chair. "Across the crowded room, chance and chemistry, etc. etc.?"

"Is this going to be the first gay joke at my expense?"

"In a long, line, yes."

"Just help me, please. I really need to talk to Merlin."

Freya creaked back in the desk chair and crossed one doc Martin over the other.

"What's in it for me?"

Arthur grabbed his hair, trying to think. The value of helping him had always been self evident before. 

"Um. I'm not impecunious. I have connections." Well he had had connections. It wasn't yet clear what the effects of the falling out with Stevens would be, or if his dad minded. "I have a quite large car?"

"Ah!" Freya stood up and rubbed her hands together. "Now, we're getting somewhere. We could really use another car." She pulled Arthur to his feet and shook his hand. "Welcome to the LGBTQ society."

"You mean you're going to let me in, after all?"

"Oh Arthur, love," Freya gave him a little pat on the head, "You've always been a member. You were born this way, remember?"

"Oh." Arthur hadn't thought about it that way.

"Now, whether Merlin wants to deal with you is another matter. You're absolutely gorge so I'd guess, yes."


	6. Arthur Talks Merlin Around Again (but This Time He Uses Symbols).

It turned out that Merlin had fled to his mother's house in Ealdor. Arthur wanted to drive up to Wales and fetch him, but Freya persuaded him to wait.

"Calm down. Write him one text explaining what happened. Just one mind you. I'll give you the number."

"I think you just want to use my car." Arthur narrowed his eyes at her.

"Arthur, you guys have met twice. I don't care how epic it was. You are this far away from stalker, Kay?" She dangled the keys. "Ah that does make a pretty sound."

He snatched them out of her hand and she held her hands up. "Only kidding. We'll get him down here, don't worry. It's just better if you're not the one asking."

"How do you know he's coming back down?"

."He's supposed to be in charge of the fair, so he can hardly refuse."

"Well that didn't stop him from leaving in the first place, did it?"

Arthur was getting into a bit of a strop; he could feel it coming. Only the probability that Freya would invite people in to watch him, stopped him from stomping around and throwing something with a rainbow on it.

"I don't want to make you feel bad," she said " but Merlin had a lot at stake with this event. The community fair was Merlin's baby. We've never done anything so ambitious before. Our history with the town outside of the University isn't all that rosy to be honest. If he doesn't want to make a hash off his own project, he'll show."

"Oh just brilliant. He was doing something very important and I made him feel so bloody awful, he didn't even feel like he could see it through. This is the stuff great relationships are built on, no doubt."

Arthur really wanted to throttle whoever had made this happen. Unfortunately he was the only one of the lot who was available and he would need his neck for kissing Merlin with later.

"It's OK, Arthur. Merlin's just a bit sensitive. He'll come round. And if he doesn't talk to all the people in the community he networked, Gilli can do it."

"That twit?"

"That twit was shagging Merlin for 4 months before you showed up. He'll know exactly what Merlin had in mind." 

Well that was absolutely unacceptable. Merlin was going to come back and he was going to find out his community outreach fund raiser had been saved. And he would find out that Arthur was very happy to affirm his interest in Merlin, publicly, after all. He would just have to make a grand gesture at some juncture where Merlin couldn't escape.

* * *

It was Gwen who gave him the idea for his grand gesture, ironically enough. As she led him down the stairs to her father's work room, he felt like he was going back in time. He'd spent so many hours here, where it smelled of saw dust and varnish, thinking of her, thinking that he was getting closer and closer to some wonderful end, as he sanded their bed to a finish.

At the time he had enjoyed Gwen's father's company as well. He'd been taciturn but not unfriendly. Arthur thought he'd understood that Arthur was there working for his daughter's hand, though they hadn't talked about it. It was harder to explain his presence now.

Gwen blew him a kiss and trotted back up stairs, leaving him alone with her father.

Tom Smith rose slowly from the work bench. He extended his hand.

"Now then, Arthur; it's been a while."

"I came back to work some more on the frame I was making." Only Pendragon starch kept Arthur looking the man in the eye.

"It's always good to finish what you start," Tom agreed. "It's there in the corner rack. Gwennie brought it back, said you'd want to make some changes."

On his way to the back, Arthur admired the pieces he saw. Some were old friends, like the oak cradle Tom could never bare to sell because Gwen loved it. Some were new.

"Who did this?" Arthur was looking at a rocking chair in the shaker style. It was perfect in a way he'd only come to appreciate after months of working with wood, the joins seamless, the finish satiny and even.

"That's Lance's work." 

"Ah." Arthur could hardly bare to look at it now. He'd never felt so inadequate. "Well, I hope he comes back. It's magnificent."

"I hope so, too." Tom said. Arthur blushed. It had never occurred to him that he might not be good enough for Gwen's family, that they might have been glad to have Lance instead. "Although with Gwennie going to be a teacher, she may not stay here to see him."

"She's studying for a teacher's license? That's wonderful!' Gwen hadn't said what ambition had prompted her to take her A levels as an adult.

"She wants to work with the primary kids, but she could do the big ones too, I'm sure. My Gwennie's very clever." 

"Yes she is. She'll be magnificent teacher." Arthur envied the little buggers that would have her.

He set to work.

* * *

The last day of the fair, Arthur volunteered at the refreshment stand where he would be sure to see almost everyone. 

Arthur pretended not to be at all nervous as a familiar lanky figure worked its way toward him, stopping and embracing a number of people and picking things up and putting them down again before finally stopping, as if by coincidence right in front of the tea station where Arthur was serving.

"Tea please, milk and two sugars."

Merlin wasn't smiling, but he wasn't glaring either.

Arthur pressed the spigot, hoping that Merlin wouldn't notice he slipped and got hot liquid on the grass. He poured a second and set them both down.

"I only asked for the one." Merlin quirked a brow. 

"I thought I might join you." Arthur pointed to the tent he and Merlin had set up in the middle of things. There were places to sit down and also the surprise he'd arranged.

"But then who's going to woman the booth, Arthur? Sorry. Bad joke. It's the pinny."

"God that's awful, Merlin. What subject is it you do again?"

"I'm reading Greats at Balliol."

Arthur clucked his tongue, 

"Dear, dear, you do work with words then. It might be a problem."

Merlin snorted into his tea. When he looked up again, something in Arthur's expression must have stopped his next facetious remark before he could get it off. 

They didn't sit down, they leaned against the tent poles they'd set up together and shared an awkward silence.

"So I heard rumors you might be bisexual." Merlin said finally.

Arthur looked down at himself. Underneath the pinafore, he was wearing a tee-shirt that said, "Proud to be bi" , a visor with a cross walk that said, "Be like me, look both ways," and a rainbow armband with a cat and a rooster on it.

"Oh? What tipped you off?"

"Git."

"I heard rumors that maybe I wasn't clear enough about it, once before, that someone might have gotten the wrong idea."

There was silence again. Arthur wanted to put his hands on Merlin's bony shoulders and cut straight to the part where they were kissing again, but refrained. That hadn't worked well thus far.

"Look I don't know what to tell you." When Merlin scrunched his eyes up like that, Arthur had to fight not to smooth his brow with a thumb. He refrained again. "It's absolutely ludicrous that I ran off like that. I should have just talked to you, or thrown wine in your face or something. I ran home to my mother because of one bad date. I never do that, well, at least not often."

He looked away again. Arthur did not like the stiffness on his face at all. Merlin was obviously meant to be one of these labile, arm flinging sort of people, not like this. "I think maybe I don't feel comfortable with all the interactions we've had. I don't feel safe, I guess, you know?"

Arthur felt a cracking sad feeling under his breast bone, staining outward from the spot. He ignored it. He'd felt that way for a whole term and not died of it. 

"Here, sit down." he pulled out a chair. He sat down too. "I know we didn't get off to the best of starts. Ummm.... Or the best of ends, really. But is it possible..." Arthur placed his own hand, all by itself on the table, but he did not try to take Merlin's. "Is it possible that you ran off because you knew I was offering a lot more than just one date. I said I was in love with you. I set you up for that and then I betrayed you. In public. It's pretty bad." He winced, "If you think of it as a fall from a high peak into a low pit, you had a pretty large bad experience.

"You never said you were in love with me."

"I didn't?"

Arthur was confused. He was certain he'd said something in there. Maybe he'd used the word soulmate

"Oh my God, you're an idiot." Merlin was laughing.

"I'm not an idiot. I got the highest score in my cohort on the prelim, thank you."

Merlin laughed some more.

"I think maybe you're the one who should avoid working with words, Arthur. Or people."

"I am not bad at working with people!"

Merlin laid his hand on Arthur's, after all.

"Arthur, it's OK. I get it. I think you might be right, actually. I think I was touched that you seemed to like me so fast. You're just beautiful and you made me breathless and it seemed too good to be true and then..."

"And then I seemed like exactly the kind of wanker who would screw you in private and pretend he didn't know you in public."

"Well, yes...Only the logic of it didn't pan out. Why bring me to your family at all? I think I knew that, really. I ran because you lost track of me once the rest of your life was there. You didn't know how to look at all of us at the same time. I don't think you're really quite done making your insides match up with your outside."

"How can you say that to someone who's wearing a rainbow armband and a pinafore?" If those items were not necessary, Arthur was going to remove them posthaste.

Merlin bit his lip.

"Do you know why it was mum I had to see. Not just see, but talk to?"

Obviously Arthur didn't. He shook his head. "My mum is someone who doesn't mess around with a lot of words. I've always been dreamy. I tell stories. I can be easy to fool that way. She sets me right."

"Does that explain why you were with that twat, Gilli?"

"Maybe?" Arthur was pleased to see Merlin didn't contest the description of his ex-boyfriend. "Anyway, I told her about you and she said that it's not a good sign when the people who matter most in someone's life don't know each other. That you acted without thinking and would probably always be lying or scrambling to escape your messes."

What a very excellent description of Uther Pendragon. Arthur had spent a childhood, trying not to read the scandals about his father's affairs and deals, or worse, witnessing relationships that did not make it into the papers but were in his home instead.

He did not get a chance to say, outloud for the first time, that he was not in any way like his father. A man interrupted them, wheeling a dolly cart into the tent, a big belly hanging on either side of a large sub woofer.

"Anybody name of Pendragon here to sign for this?" 

"Merlin,". Arthur stood up. "I think we'd better move over now."

A herd of people began cramming into the tables under the tent.

"Arthur, what's going on?"

"Well I know I made "a mess" as you call it of our first date." He held up a hand. "I know. I'm not making any assumptions about what's going on between us now. I just didn't want you to ruin your community fair over some to do over me. So Freya and I took care of it"

He ran over and signed for the sound equipment. Then he sat down and waited, heart in mouth for Merlin to join him, not relaxing until he saw the long legs slip into the chair next to his.

Freya stepped up to the mic. Everyone laughed as she fiddled over her head until the thing had dropped several feet.

"So ladies and gentlemen, students and community of greater Oxford, I'd like to introduce the first of what I hope will be many auctions to benefit not just the LGBTQ society but all of our fine local businesses."

The first items were fairly low cost, baskets of goodies combined with tickets for the cinema and a voucher at a local restaurant nearby, things of that nature. Merlin whispered his approval and even bid on one.

"And now to show their support, we have some contributions from the student body. Here's a wardrobe being modeled by Christ Church's very own Leon Knight.

The speakers started banging out "Strike a pose" as Leon ducked under the tent flap. He was wearing the man cullottes and grimacing with a terminal case of white man's overbite. By the end of the song he had added a button down cardigan, stripped down to his boxers and pulled on the skinny jeans by hopping 17 times. Arthur had counted while laughing till tears streamed down his eyes. Leon glared at him but he was unmoved; the interfering bastard had it coming . 

"And now for the ladies, the Bullingdon club is very pleased to contribute the talents of Gwaine Green, modeling a wardrobe chosen by Morgana Pendragon."

There were cat calls and whistles, as Gwaine stalked down the aisle in one of Morgana's whispy flappers costumes. This one was absinthe green.

"Tell me he shaved his legs," Arthur whispered to Merlin, "I can't bare to look."

"I think he did. The beard, on the other hand..."

Arthur groaned. Gwaine had leapt at the chance to parade around in a dress as he was a terrible ham, but he did not do well as a woman. None the less his wardrobe change "strip tease" was far more popular than Leon's, judging from the number of paddles raised. There were many friends and alumni of the Bullingdon set there. Arthur only hoped one of them bought the lot for 10 times its value.

When the music died down, Arthur dared to turn to Merlin.

"So is it alright?"

"Yeah, Gwaine was a bit iffy, but it seems to have gone over alright. It helps that the clothes were all from the shops here.

Arthur had been a little worried about the cross dressing. In Oxford terms, the fact it was Gwaine, a member of the Bullingdon club, meant it was all above board. He hoped the people from the town didn't just see it as sleezy. Before he could ask Merlin to swear he saw no step too far, the mic sounded again.

Freya's voice went surprisingly low for a small person who was mostly trainers and hair. It sent nerves down to Arthur's toes.

"The next item will be presented by the craftsman, himself. It's a piece of furniture carved at the Smith carpentry shop by Arthur Pendragon from Christ Church. Arthur would you like to talk about the piece?"

Arthur walked up to the mic, praying that his voice wouldn't shake.

"This is a pair of book cases. They're solid walnut, stained with a matte oil finish and decorated with a bird theme." It had taken him three days to make them out of the wood for the four poster as well as two nights, all night.

Freya hissed at him and threatened to take the mic. Arthur could hear a call from the audience. "Don't be a lily-livered ass, Arthur!" that most certain came from Morgana.

Arthur scanned the audience for Merlin. He looked pleased and relaxed, not especially focused on Arthur.

"Um...they're merlins," he added, watching as Merlin craned his neck and raised his brows. "I mean the birds on the top and the sides are merlins. I carved them in honor of a bloke I like. I hope they inspire someone else to study; the way he inspires me."

Arthur handed the mic back to Freya and lifted his arms over his head to a roar of approval from his rugby mates, many women visitors and a claque of lesbian friends of Freya's.

"So Merlin, since you're the inspiration," Freya leaned into the mic. She sank into the conspiring voice usually reserved for the maid of honor before she says those things about her best friend which will either ruin her wedding or cement their friendship forever, "are you going to open up the bids?"

She beckoned Merlin, and he tumbled forward for the microphone. He looked as Arthur remembered him in that first moment, surprised, wide eyed, all legs and dangling arms. Arthur's heart compressed painfully as he realized that Merlin might never be his, that he'd spoiled his chances.

"Um...Sure, I can open up the bidding on this piece."

Merlin looked over the crowd. Arthur could almost touch the moment when his shyness, flipped over to a kind of seduction. He pulled the mic closer to his mouth and aimed his lips at it, lifting his eyes up to Arthur. He flipped the wire over his shoulder and moved closer. Arthur's heart overcame it's straight jacket and pounded with hope. "Actually, I'm thinking I'll offer one kiss...." 

The crowd approved the idea, whistling and clapping. Merlin held up his hand. "But I did organize this event to make money, so Arthur will have to collect it privately."

The bookcases ended up going for 500 pounds to a smug looking Gaius.

"You know I think that's the first time he's ever approved of my work before." Arthur said, before Merlin gave him the kiss he'd promised and he forgot to think about anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is supposed to be an epilogue here. I may add it. Right now it seemed best to finish this before New Year's Day became a distant memory.


End file.
